Under the Mask: Prelude
by lilysaurusrex
Summary: Ben Solo, taken under the wing of Luke Skywalker battles with his inner darkness. Filled with hurt, betrayal, and bitterness, he must face his turmoils head-on before it's too late. With the guidance of his fellow Jedi trainee, Evia, he uncovers his true feelings and where he stands in the galaxy. (Before the creation of Kylo Ren)
1. Poison

_Hello, everyone! Just wanted to apologize in advance for any information I get incorrectly regarding the Star Wars universe. I know a pretty good amount about specific events and terminology, but I am still a Star Wars beginner. If I make any mistakes, I would greatly appreciate it if you point it out so I can check to see if I can fix it. :]_

 _Aside from that, just in case no one understood the summary, these events all take place when Kylo Ren was still Ben Solo at the age of 17-18. (The age may be slightly off for personal preference, FYI.) In the case that you aren't aware of what happened to him back then, I won't say anything now! But know that though I want the outcome to stay the same, it may not depending on the flow of the story._

 _I'm very new to writing for the enjoyment of others, so please let me know what I can do to improve! Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter 01-Poison**

The sound of a ravine nearby was crystal clear, the woods basked in an eerie silence. Every step Ben took echoed loudly in his ears, twigs and leaves crunching beneath his boots. _Quietly tread,_ he thought to himself. _In a dire situation, it wouldn't do to give away my presence due to my stomping..._ He made his strides lighter and slower, steadying himself.

As he neared the ravine, he caught a glimpse of a figure hunched over the water. It was Evia, a fellow apprentice to his uncle and the only person he could bear to be around. Her long black braid was draped over her right shoulder as she leaned over, cupping the water in her hands, trickling between delicate fingers as she raised it to her lips. She stood up slowly, patting her hands onto her white garb before straightening her back.

"You're late," she stated, her back facing him while she planted her hands onto her hips. She turned her head back at an angle, peering at him with her grey eyes. "I was just about to leave, you know."

Ben approached her warily, suspecting the possibility of her acting upon her irritation with him. "Sorry. I had to go back for this."

He pulled a leaf-wrapped bundle from his robes and tossed it to her. Evia caught it and knew instantly, smiling. "Sandwiches! How did you know?"

"Because you're always hungry," he grinned at her. They sat together on a flat boulder as she chewed fervently. He often found himself together with her like this, spending their off time out in the woods or relaxing back at home. The way she presented herself around him with ease, with familiarity, comforted Ben in a way that no one else seemed to be able to do. When he was in one of his bad moods, she was always there to calm him and reassure him simply by being there beside him. When he couldn't take his Jedi training seriously despite having one-on-one training with Luke, she knew how to challenge him in ways to get him back at it, and when he was riddled with doubt, she drew him from within and back to reality. Evia possessed a certain quality about her that just seemed to mold with Ben pleasantly. He watched her now and noted the crumbs along her bottom lip to the corner of her mouth, the usual weight on his shoulders suddenly inexistent.

"You know," Evia piped up as she finished the last bit of her food, "I have to go soon to meet with Master Luke for my training. I can't stay long today."

"Seems like a waste," Ben replied bitterly, looking away from her.

She held his hand against the rock and squeezed it. "Oh, come on. Your uncle is a great Jedi. I can't believe you think so little of him.."

"It isn't like he's the most powerful Force user."

"Hmm, maybe not, but I know he can unlock your potential. Everyone at the Academy knows that your ability to use the Force is incredible. You've got a knack at it."

"It isn't enough." He pulled his hand away, scowling. Bitterness and anger flowed within him, the darkness creeping up on him as thoughts of his uncle shifted into thoughts of his parents. The parents that had abandoned him. The parents who weren't strong enough in so many ways. He despised their decision to cast him off onto his uncle, running away.

"Hey! Ben!" He snapped out of his thoughts, eyes flashing to Evia's worried frown. Both of her hands were now on his as she watched his expression change to surprise. "You're starting to worry me... Lately, you've been spacing out a lot. Is there something on your mind that you want to talk about with me?"

They sat in silence for what felt like tens of minutes before he shook his head, running a hand through his thick black hair. "I didn't mean to startle you. I'm just tired."

"Is that really all?" Evia was stubborn. Her persistence knew no bounds, and he liked that about her. _Among many other things,_ he smiled to himself. He stood up and pulled her up with him with ease.

"Don't think too much about it. It's just a rough spot for me right now. It'll be over in no time."

The crestfallen look she held filled him with disappointment in himself. He didn't intend to say these things out loud, didn't intend for her to hear them and upset her. The last thing he wanted to do to her was cause her worry or worse, resentment for his words. However, he knew Evia was always as patient as she could be with him. The support she'd shown him over the years never wavered, and he couldn't bear to let her down.

"I won't stop training, even if I do feel like it's not worthwhile. If I stop, you'll pass me up, and I can't have that."

Evia looked up and beamed at him as if she was never upset to begin with, her eyes bright and wide.

"Don't look at me like that," Ben laughed, averting his gaze. "I'll walk you back before you're late."

"Great! And... I guess you can hold my hand on our way there." She continued smiling, intertwining her small hands into his.

 _Warm,_ he thought, feeling serene. _I almost forgot what warmth felt like._

He tightened his grip on hers, walking alongside her shyly.


	2. The Vision

_I want to take the time to apologize for the wait and the awkward writing. I didn't proofread the last half since I was so fed up with the time it took to write this, but I will eventually and repost it! I've always been bad at getting the ball rolling, but once things click into place, I promise it will be tons better! Thank you, guys! :']_

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 **Chapter Two-The Vision**

 _Warm_ , Evia smiled. _Ben is radiating..._

It was strange that he complied with walking hand-in-hand with her. Normally, he would turn away with an embarrassed scowl, ignoring her, but he held her firmly, guiding her down the beaten path. There were only minutes left until they would make it back home, and she tried to enjoy the small moment she had with him, the light breeze rustling thin branches and slivers of sunlight sneaking past treetops. There was something stirring inside of him, something that made her uneasy, but no matter what it was, she wanted to stay beside him and strike it away. She refused to let those dark thoughts win him over; she knew it didn't belong there inside of him.

As they neared the temple, Ben released her hand, slowing to a stop. Evia turned to look back at him, at his hand now empty of her own. His eyes darted away from hers and scanned the nearby bushes. "I'll see you around... or something, then."

He headed back from where they came, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. Evia smiled at his stiff form. "Hey!"

He stopped in his tracks without another movement.

"Wait for me for dinner! Won't you?"

With a brief inclination of his head glancing back her way, he took off briskly, his sandy robes swirling dramatically. She watched him disappear among the trees and took a deep breath, holding it in. She had to prepare herself. Master Luke had informed her that today's training was of utmost importance and that it would shape the Jedi she would become. Her dreams as of late were becoming more and more realistic to the point where she feared she would not wake up, and when she told her master of her insomnia, she could see the concern in his eyes. Evia knew without him telling her. She knew that they were visions.

How much she wished they weren't though when she saw the death of her master in them.

 **xxxxxxxxxx**

"Right on time, Evia," Luke stated as she entered the candlelit chamber, eyes closed. He was seated on a cushioned stone, his legs crossed and his back straight, shoulders relaxed, and he made no movement to welcome her inside as she circled around a pillar to sit before him. She copied his form and closed her eyes.

"Master, will you be telling me the meaning of my dreams?"

"They are not merely dreams. You have already deduced that you are strong in the way of visions."

"Right. They won't necessarily happen though, will they?"

"There are no guarantees. All I can teach you is how to control them and how you can overcome its power."

"...I'm afraid."

"Do not let fear bring you doubt. You are strong. You can face anything you put your mind to."

Evia nodded solemnly, inhaling deeply before slowly exhaling. She let everything go in that moment, her body relaxed as her master's voice was a distant echo.

 ** _Let the images come as they will._**

 _Evia leaving her home in the city as a young girl, bewildered but excited. Her parents proud but mournful expressions as she waved goodbye. A young boy looking at her hard from a distance. A familiar face she had forgotten that she had first seen long ago._

 _Evia extended an arm to touch the boys dark waves._

 ** _Do_ _nothing but watch._**

 _The scenery dissipated and shifted to a present Evia, caught in an argument with a fellow Jedi-in-training._

 _"Why do you think you're so special?" the girl spat at her. "Personal training with Master Luke and off gallivanting with Ben? I really doubt that there's any other reason for it other than that they felt_ sorry _for you. I mean, Ben has no business with you, so maybe you should take the hint and just back off from him."_

 _"That doesn't even make sense," Evia replied, shrugging nonchalantly. "You hold them on such a high pedestal, and yet you think that they would waste their time trying to make me feel better? Let's not have this little spat every time you're feeling insecure, thanks."_

 _Evia buried her face back into her book, concentrating on the words she could no longer register due to the current circumstances. Suddenly, the book flew from her hands and into a trash bin. The girl's face was contorted with bitterness and anger, her arm still raised from force-grabbing Evia's book._

 _"Leen. Take it out of the trash and apologize to me," Evia commanded, standing up._

 _"If you're trying to use the Force on me to make me get it back, you're hoping for too much."_

 _"I'm not. I'm telling you to do it now, or you're going to regret ever crossing me."_

 _"I really ought to just... slap that face of yours."_

 _Evia walked over to her with quick steps, stopping just before her. "Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to do as I said? Or are you going to_ risk _slapping this face of mine?"_

 _Leen bit her lip uncertainly, swallowed, and quickly brought her hand down across Evia's cheek. Reflexively, she returned the favor with her fist to her nose, feeling it flatten against her knuckles, blood pooling onto the floor where Leen fell. Tears were brimming her eyes as she screamed and lashed out at Evia, pulling her clothes and trying to grab her hair. "What does the master think you can even accomplish?! What does Ben even see in a brute like you?! Why does he even bother putting up with such a bitch?!"_

 _"Bitch?!" Evia retorted, grabbing hold of her shoulder and palming Leen's bruising nose. "Coming from an insatiably jealous pig that just can't stand that Ben and I are friends?! You're_ the _lowest person_ _I've ever had the displeasure of meeting!"_

Evia could feel the hotness of anger in her again as the memories played out before her. Her fists clenched, her body tensed.

 _ **Focus.**_

Evia inhaled slowly, filling her lungs until they could take no more air. She held it for a few seconds before exhaling, pushing back the insignificant thoughts. She relaxed her body again, feeling the coolness of the room against her skin.

 _Sunlight dancing on a stream's surface. Wildflowers bending to a summer's breeze. There was Ben waiting for her by the stream as always. She approached him cautiously, examining his broad shoulders that were pulled forward, his arms resting on his bent knees. She placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing him firmly, and he looked up at her, a wide smile on his face. His eyes failed to belie the happiness he felt, his own hand reaching up to hold hers in place, gently pulling her towards him. Evia felt herself blushing in the room as he leaned his forehead on hers, eyelids lowered as his warm breath touched her skin._

She watched herself lean forward, anticipating a kiss, her heart racing, but before anything else happened, there was a sudden flash of images before her. Evia felt her body shutter and jolt as her eyes fluttered behind her lids, unable to grasp a hold on the situation. She caught a glimpse of her fellow trainees, everyone smiling and joking with each other. She saw the city they visited whenever they had spare time. Black smoke rising from a distance. A blood drenched Luke on the ground, lifeless. Blazing red fire surrounding her. And Ben in the midst of it, trapped.

Evia's heart pounded, her breathing rapid and hard as she watched the fire consume him, his dark, solemn eyes meeting hers. The flames flicked at her, sending her stumbling backwards, and her body shook uncontrollably, her senses wild. Her master was dead, Ben was dead, she was helpless. Everything was going black; her senses were dulling. The only thing she could hear was a loud ringing in her head. She couldn't grasp anything, not a single coherent thought able to bubble up from her mind.

It had felt like ages before she finally passed out.


End file.
